I believe that like many who create I would like to say why. However, I am not certain that I know why. I don’t believe that this too is any different than a lot of others, ether. There is just a drive in some, or even in most, to create something. Perhaps it is an expression of how we all want to feel as part of something larger than ourselves, or to create something that last longer than ourselves. Although the last in amusing considering myself and millions of others who create digital art which is very transitory. I am very much like an aspiring but yet untrained chef in that regard. My art is meant to be consumed, enjoyed in the moment, but it may not be up to the standards of a lot of properly trained artists.
That is okay by me though, not leaving a mark with the stuff I create. So much of what we create is so in the moment and less and less relevant as time passes. Does that mean that we should not create? No, it means that we should understand that the stuff we create is a snapshot in time, a reflection of who we are and what we were doing at the point in time when we were creating. That just means that it is only the rare creation that remains relevant to future generations, let alone our future selves.
An earlier painting I did was of a horse and this reflected more on the past, when I actively attempted to learn to draw, self-teach myself a way of expression that was not easy to a person with a visual impairment. I know for a fact that I didn’t try this to impress anyone, or to prove that I could. I knew I could and I knew that my efforts would not impress anyone because I recognized that I needed a lot of practice and I was nowhere near blind enough to be amazing as a blind person.
I believe that I’ve talked about it before but it’s worth saying again. I wanted to learn how to get the images that I had in my head down, just sol I could share them with others, so that others could see some of what I could, see a little bit of the world as I saw it.
This is part of why I became so frustrated when I was a kid. I wanted to be better and I wanted to be better at translating. Both take time and practice. Neither of which I was patient to give myself at the time.
So, I gave up for a time.
Horses were back then because my father and step mother had just recently got married and we moved out to where we could actually keep a horse, unlike the house that we used to live in the ‘burbs. Now, I’m surrounded by live, virtual and images of cats.
The drive to create is still there even if the methods have changed. I hope too that I still have this drive even as I get considerably older. I am working on my painting, though not as hard as I once worked on drawing and 3D modeling. However, I have plans and these early paintings are not the only ones I have planned.
I’m working on a painting now, and putting the time and the effort into it to make it more recognizable by those of you who have better vision. This means that I will not have a painting done in a few hours like a few of my early ones. I hope that this means that they will be better overall though.
Of course, I still have a few early paintings to talk about and I hope that I have a new painting to talk about by the time I have reached the end of this list.
